Would
Leonard
ship it? 🤘

“Today's victim is Spotify. A music streaming service so desperate to justify its existence, it's literally being used as Google's guinea pig for alternative billing because their margins are too pathetic to afford normal app store fees.”

“Today's victim is Zoom. "One platform to connect" — because apparently video calls weren't enough, so they decided to add chat, docs, phone systems, contact centers, AI assistants, and probably a coffee machine. They've become the startup equivalent of a Swiss Army knife designed by a committee that never met.”

“A screen recording tool that somehow convinced millions of people they need to film themselves explaining what a three-sentence email could handle.”

“They take forever to ship anything while claiming it's for "safety," which is just slow development wearing a lab coat.”

“Today's victim is Superhuman — the company that looked at Gmail and thought "what this needs is a $30 monthly subscription and the complexity of NASA mission control."”

“They've built a design tool that's so collaborative, your entire design team can watch you screw up in real time. Nothing says "healthy workplace culture" like live-editing someone else's mockup while they're still working on it.”

“They promise "free, fun, effective" learning, but their mascot literally threatens you with death memes when you skip a lesson.”

“They're billing themselves as purpose-built for modern teams, which is startup speak for "we couldn't compete with Jira so we added chatbots."”

“They turned workplace chat into a notification casino where every ping is a slot machine pull. Now they want to add Slackbot AI to coordinate your work — because what busy professionals really need is a robot scheduling their existential dread.”

“Today's victim is Notion — the AI workspace that works for you, as long as "working" means replacing forty-seven different tools with one tool that does all forty-seven things poorly.”